Shipping Wars

Before I begin, let me educate you about a word you will probably come across when discussing a show or movie you became interested in. It’s called shipping. Here is the Wikipedia description for it:

“Derived from the word relationship, is the belief that two people, usually fictional, would be interesting or believable (or are, or will be, or should be) in a romantic relationship”

Simple enough. Maybe you yourself have dabbled in it once or twice. You saw two people that you thought would make a good pair in a movie or show and started to hope that would continue to interact with each other and eventually start a relationship. Or maybe you went the more platonic route and wanted two people to start a friendship. That’s shipping.

But that’s not what this article is about. This article is about shipping wars. This is not mentioned on the Wikipedia page. Say you have a character you like and you want them to be with another person. You ship these two together. You have found other people who share this interest in these two getting together.

But

But there is another person in a show or movie. They have interacted with the character you like. A look on the Internet shows that these two characters have a fan base.

But these two people are unsuited for each other, you say. The character I like should be with character x and character y.

And this is how shipping wars begin. Two people who support opposing couples start bickering with each other.

Actually, now that I think about it, this is how most real wars start.

Actually, the shipping war I’m involved in right now feels less like a debate class and more like a gladiator battle.

Let me tell you story. I watch a show called Once Upon A Time. The show is currently in its third season. Now, on this show there is a character called Emma and character that is, and bear in mind this my opinion, rather frustratingly torn between affections for two different men. There are people who ship Emma with one guy and there are people who support the other. And the fans of these two couples are at war with each other, spilling blood all across a battlefield that we call the Internet.

I happen to be involved in this battle. I’m not going to tell you who I support because quite frankly just to share who you ship Emma with is akin to throwing your gauntlet down the ground and challenging the opposing couple’s fans to a duel to the death. Just mention like I’m your side and let’s leave it at that.

Yes, shipping wars are that bad. But in some ways, the shipping wars that happen within any fandom are the same and just like in a real war, the combatants play different roles. Today I’m going to share with you the kinds of people I’ve come across on the battlefield.

“The Hippie Shipper”

These shippers are all for peace and love. They don’t want to fight with others over whom they ship. They open their arms and ask for everyone to join them in a group hug. They don’t want to fight. They want to ship what they want to ship and get no trouble for it.

“The Agree To Disagree Shipper”

 These are similar to the hippie shippers but with one difference. They want to draw a line in the sand between the couples and make sure that everyone stays on their side of the fence. Sometimes they want to share tea and crumpets with the people who oppose them in a bid for peace but most of the time, they’re standing around asking people to just let everyone ship what they want to ship and don’t want to address the real problems between the opposing parties. It’s not that they don’t want to fight, they just find the whole fight ridiculous.

“The Obsessive Aggressive Shipper”

Perhaps you came across tis shipper yourself. This person obsesses over the couple they ship to the point where you start to wonder if the person might have mental health issues. They don’t just ship to characters together, they make this couple their whole life. They post pictures of the couple on their blogs, their bedroom walls. They stay up late giggling with their fellow shipmates about how wonderful their couple is.

But

But they also cannot stand anyone who opposes their couple. It doesn’t matter if the opposing party is trying to be civil, the obsessive aggressive shipper will attempt to slice into you.

“Your couple is stupid. My couple is so much better/sexier/pretty/whatever word you want to use and you’re stupid for not shipping it. Why do you even ship couple x anyway? The guy/girl is ugly and ugly people shouldn’t be with insert character you like.”

These shippers will resort to personal insults against the combatants even if they don’t know whom they are fighting with. They will try to discount any arguments you make with insults about your profile picture or the shipmates you choose to associate with. There are the super villains of the fandom and they will beat you down with whatever they can get their hands on. Occasionally these shippers will have minions who will back them up if need be but sometimes not.

“The Eye Rolling Shipper”

This is the shipper who goes around calling out everyone for petty bickering. Because that’s what shipper wars can turn into. These people try to get between the couples and say:

“Look guys! It’s a show. These are fictional characters. Stop trying to bite everyone’s heads off over whom they ship because it doesn’t matter. Your lives don’t depend on whom the character you like is with. Calm down. You’re acting the five year olds having a temper tantrum. Let’s just go get ice cream and talk about this.”

“The Writer Shipper”

This shipper doesn’t go around getting involved in in shipping wars that often. Rather, like the eye rolling shipper, they are tired of all the bickering and go around writing articles about shipping wars and why they are a bad thing. Tomorrow, they might write a blog about the psychological implications of shipping wars. There’s a word for this kind of shipper. Pretentious.

Hang on a second…